Relationships that work are more give than take.
You must give first, not stingily last. If you give, it will not return to you void.
What does your wife want, above all else? To be cherished and adored. Why don’t you give her that?
What does your husband want, more than anything? To be really needed and tenderly nurtured. Why won’t you give him that?
|I had a very tough week. My wife gave me
calla lilies. She knows how to love me.
If you want to heal your marriage, love your wife the way she wants to be loved. Find out how she wants to be loved by talking to her—a lot—then love her that way. She will repay you a thousand times.
If you want to heal your marriage, be strong and independent, but love your husband with gentle, kind, tender, nurturing words. It is an irresistible force. It is the power that holds the universe together. Nothing can compare to it.
Listen to her. Stop judging him. Sacrifice for her. Retire your sharp evening words forever.
Ask as many questions as you have to ask to get to the bottom of what is bothering her. (This takes courage.) Listen with both eyes and both ears. Take notes and write them on your soul.
Even though he has a tough time talking about what he is feeling, put a hand on his back and let him know that you really appreciate him. Appreciating him will help him understand himself, and if he understands himself, he’ll have more to say.
Your marriage can work, but you have to stop waiting for him to “get it,” or for her to stop begging for your attention with bitter words. You have to act. First.
It’s time to take out the white flag and wave it high. Recreate your love life by not waiting for someone else to do something different.
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men [and women] give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke 6:38).
If you are angry and unhappy, there is something true that you don’t believe. What is it?
Believe the truth and live it. It will never let you down.
But the price is everything. That’s the exchange rate. Nothing less.
(If you are not getting what you really want, you are holding back.)