Last time, I talked about what wives really want for Valentine’s Day. Now, I’ll turn my attention to husbands. I am no world authority, and I don’t know what every man wants, but I have a good idea of what most of men want.
Your husband is often painfully aware of his weaknesses and mistakes, his failures and slip ups, but even though he has not succeeded in overcoming them, he desperately and quietly wants you to believe in him, to respect him and trust him. (Again.)
You are his last, best hope against all he struggles with in this world.
If he feels like you are there for him, that you truly believe in him, even though he has stumbled, that means everything to him, even if he can’t (or won’t) say it out loud.
For you to be truly pleased with him, and, best of all, to look up to him, that is what he hopes for most.
What if your husband is a Darth Vader, brutish and surly? Or a John Wayne, quiet and withdrawn when it comes to words of love? Those things are hard to look up to, I know. But that is his shell, the shell he uses to protect his pain.
But you know or can know who and what he really is, what is in his heart of hearts. You are the one that can see that and draw that out. Very few can see what you can see.
One other thing he would like is for you not to be hard on him, to focus more on the positive than the negative, to see the good in him more than anything else.
Criticism and negativity are force, or attempts at it. Patience, kindness, and positive words are persuasion. He can’t be forced, but he can be persuaded. And no one can persuade him like you can. He wants to be persuaded that you still believe in him.
That’s what he wants most. It will mean so much to him.