What She Learned after Raising Her Children

Recently a high councilor spoke in our sacrament meeting and shared the following 20 points on raising children. They were from a beloved aunt, dated December 22, 2010, and are well worth your consideration if you’re still raising kids or grandkids:

  1. Remember that people are more important than projects.
  2. Always drop what you’re doing and listen when your children need to talk.
  3. Expect the best out of them.
  4. Never allow disrespect. You respect them and expect the same. No, demand the same in return.
  5. Love them unconditionally no matter what.
  6. Listen as long as you plan to speak.
  7. Pray before you handle a difficult problem and ask God to guide what you do and say.
  8. Be honest, even if it hurts.
  9. Be fair to those you deal with.
  10. Remember that when you die, it won’t be about earning money. It will be about what we do with our lives. What we’ll have left is what we really are.
  11. Forgive your children when they say things that hurt you (and they will hurt you), realizing that they [don’t have] wisdom yet. 
  12. Stop and take time to laugh with them and play with them. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
  13. Always tell them the truth, not matter what, and they will always want to seek your opinion.
  14. Don’t excuse your children for their bad behavior. Do what is best for them, not what is best for you. Ask yourself, “If I allow them to continue doing this, will it hurt their life?” If you answer yes, nip it in the bud before it blossoms.
  15. Teach them how to work. Don’t hand them things. Teaching them how to work hard is one of the best gifts you could possibly give them.
  16. When you give things to them, do it expecting nothing in return and they’ll give you everything they have that matters most in return.
  17. Don’t compare one child to another. They’re all different and they’ll remember that you said one is organized and the other isn’t, and never forget it! Or that one has great hair and the other doesn’t (just examples). They don’t remember the compliment. They’ll remember what you said they weren’t good, at even if you [don’t remember saying] it. All you said was the other child was good at something. They’ll automatically think that means that you think they are not good at that. Complicated but true.
  18. Be patient with them when they make mistakes. Remember that God did not put a 40-year-old brain in a 16-year-old child. They’ll learn, even it’s the hard way.
  19. Don’t smooth the way too much or you’ll cripple them.
  20. Realize that they are normal children with gifts just like other kids. Normal, but not superior to others. All of God’s children are equal in His eyes.

I hope you enjoyed these tidbits of wisdom as I did.

3 thoughts on “What She Learned after Raising Her Children

  1. Patty Ann March 23, 2011 / 12:22 am

    Totally love this. It is so true. I would have loved to have heard that talk.


  2. Carmen King March 26, 2011 / 5:37 am

    This is such a good reminder. We have four children – b19, b16, g13, and g11. I just think I've gotten most of this down and something comes along to rock my boat and I have to relearn these lessons again and again. I thought we would have it all down with our oldest, but each age and stage brings new worries, new challenges, and new joy in our journey together as a family.


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