Valentine’s Day is coming up this weekend, yet another opportunity to express your affection for your wife. Do you know what you are going to do about it? A card? A meal out? Flowers? Jewelry? A movie? A visit to the temple? New socks?
I want to suggest something that I think your wife will really like. And it won’t cost you any money. It will cost you some thought and effort. Yes, she would love a dozen long-stemmed roses in her favorite color. Yes, she would love a new necklace. And who wouldn’t want a meal where no one has to fuss with cooking or the dishes? She would like all those things, but this is what I think she would like more than anything else.
Your direct, clear, deep, verbal, eye-to-eye, unmistakable, heartfelt, positive feelings of love for her.
That is the thing that matters the most to her. Period. I am sticking to my guns on this one.
Don’t get me wrong. Your wife loves and needs your attention, time, help around the house, paycheck, and a hundred other things from you, on a regular basis. But what will really make her happy is for you to share your real, genuine feelings of esteem and love for her. When you express that from the heart, with focus and intent, that is powerful, if not overwhelming to her. She needs it more than anything right now.
Okay, it is possible that she has done something or said something lately that is under your skin and bothering you. You might still be huffy and silent or slamming an occasional door. It happens. Are you going to let the little things control your life or are you going to take control of it yourself? Set everything aside and tell her that, in spite of the all the petty distractions and irritations, she is the best thing that ever happened to you. And don’t just tell her with words, though she will like that a lot. Tell her with your actions, too. Consistent actions.
If she knows that you love her, she can face anything. Nothing will make her happier. If you were the richest man in the county and lavished roses and diamonds and mansions and cars and clothes on her, it would mean nothing to her, really, unless she knows in her heart that you love her—truly, deeply, passionately, undyingly.
Nothing would mean more to her on Valentine’s Day. (But I would still take her out to dinner this weekend and get her flowers, too.)
In my next blog post, I talk about what your husband would like most.